What make a good Master? It’s one of the first question a submissive should ask. If you are new in the bdsm community and a female submissive, you will get a lot of offers wanted or not to be your new master. Your first reaction will probably be to choose the first one because you want to start your new submissive life: BAD IDEA!
Ok, I’m a little harsh… It just a have seen a good deal of inexperience submissive run into a horror story.
Remember, you will get a lot of offers. Not all “master” are truly good at it or will work with you. You must take time to choose what you need.
I can’t tell you exactly what is a good master for you. But I can give you a hint.
My first recommendation is escape those who use the word “Master” in their handle. It a good indicator of a “kid” thinking he is a “master” because he “know” how to “train” a submissive or a “slave” to “follow his rules”. He can “break her” by the “strength of his will and rigid rules”. Ok, those give me the nosea…
A good person won’t try to break you. He will try to make you grow. Breaking somebody is easy. Being a bad Dom or a bad master is the most sure way to break somebody. Making it grow on the personal level is harder. You need to understand the need of each submissive you are working with. He doesn’t know in advance how to train a new submissive. He knows how to listen to her and adapt. It is not it strong and rigid rules that will make you a better submissive. It your will to be one and it his capacity to listen to your need.
You see? It is not the job of the dominant to make you behave by fear. Its job is to guide you so you can work together. A good Master or Dom will earn your trust as you will earn his.
So the real question a new submissive should ask is: would that new dominant really want to help me grow and can I do the same as is submissive? If you say no to one part of the question, it not going to work.
I must clarify one point if you want to be a kajira, he will be your “Master” from the start. It a Gorean title own by all free men. But if you refer to a more conventional bdsm relation. “Master” mean you both have established a really special bound and trust. He will be usually your Dom for a few months or years before your dynamic could switch to a Master/slave relation. In the leather community, the term master can also signify the person is recognized by the community as an expert in a field. As you can see the word “Master” can have several meaning.
That why I usually say to new submissive not to call me Master except if she is a Gorean. As I’m in both type of dynamic.