Secretum a submissive training guide or a Dominant guide?


Why a new blog on submissive training?

We already have lots of sites explaining how to train submissive or slave online! That’s true! But how many of them speak with a real experience on the topic? Submissive training is not a game! Actually, it is… But you should understand that a game with responsibility. You need to know what you are doing so you will get a good reputation. Because yeah… If you screw up, she will say it to other subs. They will know that you are not to be trusted and you won’t get lot of submissive partners. So no they are not fucking robot you can trash after use.

How should it be done?

Bdsm is not just how to use a flogger, wax or a paddle. The relation between a submissive and it Master or Dom in primarily a cerebral experience. That means the submissive training is the building block of the relation. You are not training her to fetch you a beer in the fridge. You are training her to strengthen a bound between both of you.

What’s the goal of the site?

The site intends to be a Dominant guide and a submissive guide. It intent to also act as a dominant guide because of the disaster caused by Fifty Shades of Grey.

  • ​What the problem?

A lot of new dominants are popping around the Internet. They usually consider themselves as a master capable of dealing with the most stubborn submissive because they are rigid and strong. That’s just pure bullshit! A Dominant is not one that will force a submissive. A good Dom is one that will take time to learn the psychology of is submissive and take care of her. He will work two times harder than her to be the best at what he wants to make her learn and grow. A dominant job is not to break the submissive, but make her strong as steel in the submissive lifestyle that proper submissive training.

  • Why capitalization of Dominant and Master titles, but not of submissive or slave? ​

Because I’m old school! When the Internet started it was mostly a basic textual environment. Most of the time, the only information on a chat or forum was a nickname. No hyperlink with a pretty picture and a full pedigree like we have today on Fetlife! So by convention peoples wrote their nickname with a Capital letter at the start to say I’m a Dom or a Master and the sub and slave didn’t. Today, it not really important as before to do so. But I’m kind of attached to it. For me it a form of respect to both. When you write to a submissive without using a capital before her name, you say: I’m aware that you are a submissive and I will act accordingly. For me it respectful because you state that you want to follow proper protocol and etiquette.

  • I’m a submissive or a slave?

For the sake of sanity, I’m not going to explain in the introduction the difference between both terms. Except when I specifically make the distinction, they are both interchangeable. They are different, but we are dealing in both cases with a human being.​

  • ​What about me as a Gorean slave or master?

Tal, I’m going to create a specific site about the Gorean lifestyle. But you should also study the main section of this site. We are not on Gor. You can’t sell your Kajira at the Street of the Brands or buy one… You are dealing with a human being that need care and attention. So even if she says being a paga slut, you can’t throw her in the canal to feed the Urts… You need a good understanding of the human psyche. That’s why you need to also read the dominant guide and submissive training guide.

​​Why the name Secretum?

Have you ever trough of secret room where you can place stuff judge controversial? Well the secretum was a secret room in the British museum for that specific purpose in 1865. The goal of the room was to preserve content historically controversial or deem obscene according to the standard of the era.

We are not in 1865 but some subjects are judged too “hot” for Facebook, Twitter and others more mainstream website. That’s why I created this site. The goal is not to create some shocking post, but to keep an open space for a real discussion.

If you can’t take it or hate the idea of the submissive training and lifestyle: get out of my website!

Blog

Mind Fuck: how to

What a Mind Fuck? Well… It is basically fucking with your mind. It is tricking your mind to think an event is happening when actually it is not. But the real question should be why we do Mind Fuck The reason we do Mind Fuck? Let me ask you a question: why do you like […]

Read More

She is human!

Ok, I’m in for a little clarification. A submissive is a human being. Yes, she can say she is your slave, your pet or what you ask her to say. But she is still a human being. As a Master or a Dom, it’s your responsability to ensure she is Ok. If she ask to […]

Read More

Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Let talk about Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming… First, NO you can’t make your submissive became as a robot with hypnosis or Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It impossible. You can make your submissive or slave act as if she was a robot if she is into that kind of kink. But in that kind of setting it not done by […]

Read More

The Moscow Rules

The Moscow Rules: Assume nothing. Never go against your gut. Everyone is potentially under opposition control. Do not look back; you are never completely alone. Go with the flow, blend in. Vary your pattern and stay within your cover. Lull them into a sense of complacency. Do not harass the opposition. Pick the time and […]

Read More

What make a good Master?

  What make a good Master? It’s one of the first question a submissive should ask. If you are new in the bdsm community and a female submissive, you will get a lot of offers wanted or not to be your new master. Your first reaction will probably be to choose the first one because […]

Read More

#metoo: the problem of truth and justice

#Metoo is a problem? Yes #metoo movement represents a problem. The problem with the #metoo is not the victim will for justice. It’s the fact that peoples act as vigilantes. They take the notion of justice in their own hand. It’s a big problem because it lets a huge place for abuse. Your ex is pissed-off […]

Read More

Off the Cuffs a great podcast

Off the Cuffs is a great podcast for those who don’t like the SSC style! offthecuffs.org […]

Read More

Edge Play: risky, but awesome!

Ok, Edge Play is not for the SSC community. It implies consequence in the short and long run. Edge Play is like practicing an extreme sport. It can be great, give you a high level of adrenaline or induce subspace. But it can also mean death, injury, disease or high sub-drop if you are not […]

Read More

SSC & RACK: The fast food and the gourmet

​Ok, I’m NOT objective on the subject! ​But that’s the best analogy I got in mind. SSC is like the fast food of BDSM. It’s easy to get, easy to eat, but tasteless. You don’t need lots of reflection to understand the meaning of Safe, Sane and Consensual. ​​I’m bias in favor of the RACK doctrine!  ​Why is SSC so popular? […]

Read More

Submissive training real meaning

What is the submissive training true goal? It is to create a submissive and dominant bound. The fundamental reason to start a submissive or slave training is not to make her crawl on the floor. What a good dominant or master want is to create a profound bond with her. You will get much more […]

Read More

Why I use HTTPS for a private blog?

HTTPS the new standard If you check the upper left corner of your browser you will see that my blog is using HTTPS connection. That means you are connected to my blog using the same technology used for making secure payments online. A certificate authority (Letencrypt) generated digital proof that the server you are connected to Secretum. […]

Read More

How to define submissive?

​If you are new in the bdsm community you will be asked really quickly: Do you want to be my slave or sub? ​But are you really a submissive? How can we define a submissive? The question wasn’t just about been submitted, but also what is expected from a submissive. The definition is of a great importance because […]

Read More