Secretum a submissive training guide or a Dominant guide?

Secretum is for both. Most peoples just want to spice there life. They have no clue what they are doing. They just follow what they see in a porn movie or in a book. It is not the reality.

What the consequence?

The consequence is bad communication at first. You have both feelings like needs and fears. Because you don’t communicate for fear of judgement, it can go messy really quickly.

What the effect?

The submissive will expect that the Dom know her most secret desires and limits from the start. He would expect the submissive to obey him without reserve or the Dom is scare to do anything in fear of hurting her. The Dom can also avoid to say what he feels. It creates an unrealistic expectation from both partners.
“Fake it till you make it”: It is not a good idea. You better explain to your partner what you expect. With good communication, you can establish what the next step in your relation and move in the same direction. If you lie about your confidence, you risk a high-stress situation that will be counterproductive. It can turn into a rotten relation and a break of trust.

What the goal of this site?

It is basically to offer a realistic view of the bdsm dynamic.  The goal is not to tell you what to do. You can find happiness in a BDSM relation different ways. But like most activity. We need basic rules to avoid the negative consequence or know the risk.


I will publish short articles about specific subjects. You can also contact me if you want a specific subject. I’m also open to publish articles from others with credit to the author.

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